KANAVOLT SUBSCRIPTION TERMS & CONDITIONS
Effective Date: [Insert Date]
Welcome to Kanavolt, transforming the unseen to the unstoppable. By subscribing to our Digigoop Compensation Model (“Subscription”), you (“Subscriber”) agree to the following legally binding Terms & Conditions. Please read carefully.
1. Eligibility & Consent
By subscribing, you affirm that you are at least 13 years of age and possess the mental capacity to provide explicit consent, regardless of any subsequent neurological alterations resulting from prolonged screen exposure.
2. Digigoop Collection Agreement
Subscriber acknowledges and agrees that Kanavolt reserves the right to passively collect all Digigoop excretions resulting from digital overstimulation, including but not limited to scrolling, swiping, binge-watching, and doom-scrolling on social media platforms. Digigoop is the sole property of Kanavolt upon excretion, regardless of physical origin.
3. Compensation
Subscribers will receive modest, non-negotiable compensation in the form of Kanavolt Credits. These Credits have no fixed monetary value and are non-transferable, non-refundable, and subject to fluctuation based on internal algorithmic output.
4. Kanavium Energy Conversion
Subscriber understands that Digigoop is refined into Kanavium, a proprietary and largely unexplained energy source. The process of Kanavium synthesis is classified. Subscriber waives any right to inquiry, audit, or understanding of this process.
5. Neurological Well-being
Kanavolt makes no guarantees regarding the neurological, psychological, or emotional consequences of extended social media use encouraged by this Subscription. Subscribers voluntarily accept all risks, including cranial leakage, attention collapse, cognitive erosion, personality fragmentation, and/or existential dread.
6. No Liability Clause
Kanavolt shall not be held liable for any form of brain damage, memory drift, sleep disruption, or identity dissociation arising from the use of social media platforms, whether incentivized by this Subscription or otherwise. Any claims of harm must be directed to the user’s personal sense of agency.
7. Perpetuity of Consent
By agreeing to these terms, Subscriber grants Kanavolt irrevocable, perpetual access to all future Digigoop emissions, even after death if digital activity is posthumously simulated.